Please stop besmirching the good name of my favorite gift category–edible gifts.  Quit shipping the containers filled with processed cheese spreads that are mostly chemicals and the unidentifiable tubes labeled as some sort of sausage.  Extend the protest to include those tree killing enormous boxes that contain a couple apples or pears.  I can find apples and pears that are just as good in my local super market.

Despite my heretical words, above, I love good food gifts.  I enjoy giving them, but I enjoy receiving them even more.  However, when you send me something, please make it the same quality I give those on my gift list.  Oh, and by the way, high quality is not the same as easy to buy from a temporary, seasonal kiosk in the mall.  Food gifts require the same thought as any other gift category.

Instead of the mostly chemical box from the mall stand, think about a selection of gourmet cheeses from some cheesemaker who actually understands what cheese is and what it can be.  Join me in endorsing the thankless labor of goats and cows rather than joining the chemical additive bandwagon.  I would love even a small gift such as that more than the biggest box of the fake stuff that your mall displays.

A wine gift basket makes a delightful gift for the right person.  Just be sure that the person to whom you send it appreciates a good wine.  Like millions of other people, I haven’t had anything alcoholic in years, because I seem to be unable to handle it.  While my sister would be properly grateful for a wine basket, I would not.  She knows how to sip and savor; I remember only how to gulp and refill.

We all have a special friend or a dear relative who has moved away.  Think about a present of a gift certificate for live lobsters or even lobster dinners.  Granted, this is not a bargain basement priced gift, but sometimes we enjoy splurging on someone especially dear.

While I made fun of fruit gift baskets earlier, there actually are places where you can order a basket of gourmet fruit–fruit that does not grown in my back yard.  This can be a truly thoughtful gift for someone who is into fitness or who has started the sort of logical diet that allows the consumption of fruit.

See?  If you give a food gift the thought that it deserves, stay out of the long lines at the mall kiosks, and hasten the journey of the boxes filled with fake cheese to the garbage bin, which is where they are going to end up if you send them to me.  Spend an evening with me, shopping from my home office, using the Internet for all my food gift shopping.  I share my real cheese with you, but you’ll have to bring the wine for yourself.

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