Giftbaskets are soooo last year!  Or is it last decade?  Actually, I hope the correct response is neither.  (Lock it in; that’s my final answer.)  I’m actually a gift food merchant.  Kind of has a special ring to is, doesn’t it?  Granted, it may be less significant that solving the global warming problem or removing a pesky mouse from under your kitchen cabinet, but it’s an honest way to pay for the roof over my family’s head.

I can read your mind: “All of his gift problems are solved; he just gives the same boring baskets year after year to everyone.”  How dare you think about me in that way!  I actually have the same problems you have in deciding what gift is best for everyone on my list.

I don’t give only baskets of joy to my loved ones.  Even if I did just give gift baskets to everyone, my choice would be only marginally easier than yours.  My company alone offers scores of fruit baskets, wine gift baskets, gourmet food options and far more.  (I can hear you right now, begging me to tell you where this wonderful store is.  A little patience is called for on your part.)

Before you bribe me (or threaten me) to share my store location with you, I want to tell you about my own decision making approach.

First, I decide on an appropriate category of gift.  If Uncle Milton has his drinking problem under control for the first time in ten years, I should not even consider the wine baskets.  Instead, I’ll opt for a fruit basket with something seasonal.  After years of ignoring the nutritional value of what he consumed, he could use a few extra servings of fruit in solid form.

Dear, dear Aunt Mildred is a great wine talker.  I don’t think she truly enjoys sipping her wine, but she loves to try to impress everyone with what she knows about it.  She thrills to have a new member of her audience so that she can explain what makes a good vintage year, the varieties of grapes that are used in her favorite blends and, especially, how much she paid for each bottle (as well as how much she paid for the carpeting you just ruined by spilling your glass).  She’ll get a simple wine gift basket, but I’m not going to spring for the champagne!

My nephew, Alfred, recently married his long time girlfriend.  To tell you the truth, even I agree that it’s about time.  Alfred spent the last eight years trying to decide if she was worth the cost of a diamond ring.  (I suspect that he eventually settled on crystal, which, considering Alfred, would be thought of as generous.)  Alfred always loves to receive cash as a gift.  There’s no way that I’m satisfying that desire.  His wife wouldn’t get a dime of it.  I’m sending them a chef-prepared gourmet meal for two.  My thinking is that this is the only way to get his bride out of the kitchen.  Alfred would never pay for a restaurant meal, so, in a sense, I’m sending the restaurant to them.

Second, I decide how much I’m willing to spend on these losers.

My grandson is getting the latest video game system.  Let’s face it; he is truly special.

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